30 Day Cool-Off: This Is How China Tried to Prevent Couples from Divorcing

In China, couples seeking divorce have resorted to issue tickets to announce their cases in divorce court following the imposition of a 30-day "cooling-off period" before a divorce can be granted.

This regulation, intended to give couples time to "calm down" before finalizing their separation, appears to have had a significant impact. 

Divorce Statistics

Upon enacting the law, the country’s divorce rate dropped by 70% in the first quarter of 2021.

Data from the Chinese Ministry of Civil Affairs shows that 296,000 divorce applications were processed in the first three months of that year, a sharp decline from the 1.05 million divorces recorded in the same period in 2020 and 1.06 million in 2019.

Implemented to bolster China’s declining birth rate by discouraging impulsive divorces, the law responded to a dramatic increase in divorce rates.

As Bloomberg reported, the number of divorces in China tripled over the last 15 years, with around 4.5 million couples divorcing in 2018 compared to 1.3 million in 2003.

Since the new law took effect on January 1, dissolving a marriage has become more challenging. The process begins with marriage counseling, followed by a 30-day cooling-off period.

After this period, couples must reapply at the local civil affairs bureau to finalize their divorce. If they fail to reapply within 30 to 60 days, their application is automatically canceled.

The new regulation led to a rush to finalize divorces, with appointments booked so far in advance that scalpers in cities like Guangzhou, Shanghai, and Shenzhen began selling slots to desperate couples.

Experiences with the cooling-off period vary widely. Some couples found it beneficial, while others saw it as an additional burden.

Yiheng Cui, a 31-year-old from Shanghai who divorced his wife after four years of marriage, described the waiting period as "30 days of hell," causing unnecessary pain and prolonging conflict.

Cui suggested the period should be shortened or made optional, emphasizing that it intensified the frustration between him and his wife.

Conversely, Ana Xu, 29, from Guangzhou, credits the cooling-off period with saving her marriage.

After a heated argument, Xu and her husband filed for divorce in March but reconciled within two weeks, ultimately canceling their application.

Xu believes the period gave them the time to reflect and decide to work on their relationship, though she acknowledges it might not be suitable for everyone, particularly in cases of infidelity.

Writer and social commentator Lijia Zhang told the Guardian that the cooling-off period has indeed contributed to the reduction in divorces, noting the trend of "flash marriage" and "flash divorce" in recent years.

Zhang also pointed out that the law might deter couples from falsifying divorces to circumvent property purchase limits.

However, the law does not apply to cases involving domestic violence and abuse. Nonetheless, there have been tragic incidents where the cooling-off period has had fatal consequences.

The China Digital Times reported cases of women being murdered during this period, including Xiaofang Kan, a factory worker from Hubei, who was killed by her husband following disputes over property division.

These incidents raise concerns about the law’s potential to expose vulnerable individuals to greater risks of violence.

Troubling Numbers

China's marriage and birth rates have plummeted to record lows, while divorce rates have surged in recent decades.

In 2012, the divorce rate surpassed the marriage rate for the first time, peaking at 4.71 million couples in 2019 before falling to 2.1 million by 2022.

This recent decline is partly attributed to delayed divorce processing during COVID-19 lockdowns and the introduction of a “cooling-off period” by the government in 2021.

A year after China implemented a 30-day cooling-off period for divorce seekers, marriage registration authorities reported a decrease in marital dissolutions, which many local governments credited to the controversial measure.

In Chongqing, the Civil Affairs Bureau noted that over 50,000 estranged couples reconsidered their decision during the one-month waiting period last year, contributing to a 44 percent drop in divorce numbers since 2020.

In Qingdao, Shandong province, the divorce rate fell to a decade low with just 16,000 break-ups in 2021, down 33 percent from the previous year

In Guiyang, Guizhou province, local authorities reported that approximately a quarter of couples seeking divorce "cooled off" during the mandatory waiting period, according to the Guiyang Daily.

Li Xue, a Shanghai-based white-collar worker who recently divorced her husband, expressed regret over not divorcing before the rule was implemented.

"My experience is that it’s really, really difficult to get divorced, so I’d advise those who haven’t married to be cautious before doing it," she said.

Li described the arduous process, highlighting that a spouse can cancel the application during the 30-day period, forcing the couple to start over.

The challenge extends to court proceedings, where divorces are often not granted on the first filing.

China has not published figures for court-granted divorces since 2017, and civil affairs data only covers consensual divorces, though most divorces in China occur this way, according to Guangzhou-based divorce lawyer Wu Jiezhen.

"So it's notable that data from civil affairs authorities doesn't show the entire picture," Wu said.

While many local governments assert that the cooling-off measure is effective, Shanghai-based psychologist Huang Jing criticized it for ignoring individual happiness.

"For the policymakers, the purpose of the measure is to retain stability. They don’t take individual happiness into account," she said

Negative Stereotype

Recent statistics reveal that over three million couples divorced in the first nine months of 2022, marking an increase of approximately 200,000 compared to the same period the previous year.

The negative stereotypes surrounding divorced women in China often depict them as immoral, promiscuous, and unable to maintain a family.

However, a growing number of women are turning to social media to challenge these stigmas and reshape the narrative.

Online, women are sharing stories of fulfillment and joy post-divorce, with some referring to their divorce certificates as "certificates of happiness."

These platforms have become hubs for discussions on child custody battles, gathering evidence of infidelity, and coping with trauma.

This digital movement has spurred new cultural trends. Photographers are now offering "divorce photography" sessions, and wedding planners are expanding their services to include "divorce ceremonies."

One notable example is a video on the Red platform, which garnered over 150,000 likes and 7,000 comments.

In the video, social media influencer Neishuang Wushuang conducts a divorce ceremony dressed in her wedding gown, surrounded by family and friends. Through tears, she declares, "The failure of a marriage does not mean the failure of our lives."

For Delia Lin, associate professor of China studies at the University of Melbourne, seeing women sharing their experiences of divorce is "an excellent trend".

"That just shows that women are more comfortable with sharing some negative experiences, if you call it 'negative experiences', in a marriage," she said.

"So that idea of 'perfect marriage' is not something they are striving for."